Thursday, March 26, 2015

Brand new me

Am I gonna be who I was before anxiety?
Am I gonna live the way I did before anxiety?
Am I gonna love like I loved before anxiety?
Does this change us, and the world around, us forever?
I don't know who I'm gonna be tomorrow, I know who I was, a girl with so much energy and courage and life inside of her, so damn free! And I know who I am today, a women with fears, but strong, with dreams but no wings to fly that high, but I know that this illness made me a better human being. I don't live as free as I wish I would, this anxiety makes me live with small steps, but I'm still walking. Walk with me :) I changed, yes, a lot, I'm not the same person, I grew, I feel more, the good and the bad, you know it. But now, that I know again who I am, I don't fight against it anymore, I live with anxiety, I love with anxiety and I fly too. Yes. it's possible, not easy, not in two days, it took me years to embrace this, to learn and to love myself again. I changed, yes, but as a spirit, as a human, I'm better, I'm cleaner. My faith helped me, and helps me everyday, I'm very blessed, I have anxiety, I know, I'm scared to leave the house sometimes, I know, I cry so many times by myself, I know, but I'm alive!!! I'm very loved.
I'm not the same person because of anxiety, but I'm still the same grateful spirit.

MaryJane