I've never told my family that I have anxiety disorder. They know I'm very anxious, nervous, they know I was in treatment for some months, they are very supportive, but I've never said it, with all the words...Why? I don't know...maybe because I thought at that point that was no need for that, I was in control and I felt strong enough to not ask for help anymore. Like I said before in this blog, I need my space, my time alone, I've never shared my feelings that much, and I believe that help the anxiety win some wars against me. I really think is important to open and say it all, to all your close ones. I didn't and at the beggining was hard, hide the anxiety during a family dinner, for example, I had no need to suffer that, it was enough all the rest, I could be more helped and supported back then...Now I see that, how important it is to be 100% honest with those who just want to help you, your recovery... Three years past since my last appointment with my doctor, now how do I start this conversation without scaring them? "why tell now if she hided this for years?"... Well, I don't feel like I've hided, I didn't opened my book 100%, so they can read my story, you know? I don't lie if they ask me something, I just don't take the first step...never did...
Mary Jane
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